


Tempted to Heaven

by vol_ctrl



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel/Demon Sex, Damned Husbands, First Time, Hate Sex, Heaven, Implied Gabriel/Beelzebub - Freeform, M/M, Paperwork, Return to Heaven, Shameless Smut, Temptation, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 02:03:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20884355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vol_ctrl/pseuds/vol_ctrl
Summary: After the Armageddon't, Crowley's record of being a little bit of a good person comes to light. Gabriel gives Crowley the good news that he's up for readmission to Heaven, but Crowley is determined to prove he's better suited staying a demon. (Or, indulgent smut in which Crowley attempts to tempt Gabriel and it doesn't quite go as planned.)





	Tempted to Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic to celebrate getting to 200 followers on Twitter and thank my new patrons! I did a series of polls to let my readers vote on what they wanted me to write, and the results were: **Gabriel/Crowley, Head Office,** and **Readmission to Heaven.**
> 
> Basically, madlibs crack. Please enjoy! Follow me over on Twitter [@vol_ctrl](https://twitter.com/vol_ctrl) to be a part of the next milestone celebration!
> 
> Many thanks to my beta readers Ing, Bread, and OAbs for devouring my madness and listening to me natter on endlessly about crack.

“So.”

“So.”

Crowley sat opposite Gabriel in an office overlooking London. Head Office, to be exact. The chair seemed determined not to indulge in his propensity to slouch, but he was doing his damndest.

“It appears you’ve proven yourself to be just a little bit of a poor demon.”

Crowley tossed Gabriel a sneer of a smile. “Wasn’t much of an angel, was I?”

“No. No, you were pretty bad at that, too.” Gabriel considered the papers on his desk with raised brows, then peered up at Crowley. “I’ve got good news for you.”

Crowley narrowed his eyes at Gabriel from behind his glasses. “Good news for you, or…?”

“Good news for _you, _Crowley. God has decided,” he said in clipped, officious tones, “to open your file back up.” He mugged a surprised look, then grinned. “How nice for you.”

Crowley continued to squint at Gabriel. “Open my file…? The Heaven does that mean?”

“You’re up for readmission to Heaven!” Gabriel said and tossed his hands.

“... What.”

“We’ve been reviewing your files--got them sent Up from Hell. And between all your fraternization with Former Principality Aziraphale, and a few blessings of your own design,” Gabriel gave Crowley a knowing look that made the demon toss his head back in irritation, “you’ve actually done quite a lot of good in the past six thousand years.”

“No,” Crowley moaned. “No, no, you’ve got it all wrong. All that--the- the blessings for Aziraphale, that was just… making the work easier for the both of us. I wasn’t doing _good. _I was… playing hooky.”

“The Almighty doesn’t see it that way.” Gabriel looked innocently at Crowley. “You’ve done more good than… well, several of our Principalities. Combined, actually.”

Crowley melted into the chair and groaned at the ceiling.

“Well, and the Almighty remembers your works from before. The, ah… stars and the healings and the like. Honest work.”

“That was a very long time ago,” Crowley muttered.

“What difference does time make, hm? All in all… perhaps it was an error for you to Fall at all.”

“No.” Crowley sat up sharply and glared at Gabriel. “It was no _error._ I may not have been on the same page with--with Lucifer and that lot, but I was not on board with… with half the things She was on about then.” Crowley gripped the arms of the chair, lanky arms angled out. “I mean, really. Making _knowledge _the forbidden fruit? What was that all about?”

Gabriel wasn’t listening. “This is all very non-standard, the readmission process, so… It may take a while longer to sort out…”

“No. No, Gabriel--are you even listening to me?” Crowley pushed himself up from his chair and lunged at the desk. “I’m not coming back.”

Gabriel looked up at Crowley with a bemused smile. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not coming back to Heaven.” Crowley looked incredulously at the archangel. “I’m a demon. Been a demon for-- well, for longer than I was ever an angel.”

Gabriel balked and shook his head. His brow creased with confusion. “Why wouldn’t you want to return to Her Grace?”

“I don’t want anything to do with it. I told you--er, Aziraphale told you, uh--we both said! Better off leaving us alone.”

“But the Almighty--”

“I don’t care. I’m a demon.”

“Really, Crowley, this is most unusual.”

“I’m not a good person. Spanish Inquisition? That was me. World war two? Yup. The temptation of Saint Anthony? I--” he faltered and wheedled thoughtfully, “wait, did I do that one, or did Aziraphale?” He trailed off.

Gabriel smiled tightly. “See? You can’t even recall.”

“I’m good at temptations,” Crowley insisted. His scowl looked more like a pout. “One of my specialties.”

“Stop this nonsense.” Gabriel folded his hands patiently on the desk.

“I’ll prove it to you.”

Gabriel looked dubiously at Crowley. “Prove it?”

“I’ll do it. Right here and now.”

“A temptation? Upon who?”

“You.” Crowley grinned.

Gabriel snorted. “Crowley. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m an _Archangel._ You can’t tempt me.”

“Says you,” Crowley said in a low voice. He leaned forward slowly and reached toward the archangel. Gabriel remained still with a doubtful look at Crowley as the demon’s fingers slowly wrapped around his tie. “You’ve never been tempted, Gabriel?” he asked in a light voice.

Gabriel smirked. “No. Never.”

“Shame.” Crowley fingered Gabriel’s tie. Nice silk. “Never experienced the full _breadth _of pleasures She created…” he mused.

“It would pale in comparison to the celestial bliss of Heaven’s ethereal embrace,” Gabriel said proudly. “Which you would know again if you--”

Crowley jerked Gabriel’s tie forward so that he could lean in close to his ear. “_Trust me._ Human bodies really are Her finest creation.” Crowley ran his tongue along the shell of Gabriel’s ear and felt him tense and pull against his grip on his tie. “Feel that? That’s just a taste of what this corporation has to offer.”

“I have no interest in sullying my corporation with such base sins.” Gabriel pulled his tie from Crowley’s grasp and sat back.

“Base sins?” Crowley laughed. “Don’t be so old fashioned, Gabriel. Hasn’t Original Sin gone out of fashion?”

“Well.” Gabriel cleared his throat. “There have been some updates to the protocol.”

Crowley swept a careless hand over Gabriel’s desk, disturbing a number of pens and executive toys as he cleared the surface.

“Hey,” Gabriel protested.

“Material possessions are considered a sin by some.” Crowley smirked and sat himself on the desk. “Not you, apparently.” He spun his legs onto the desk and hitched himself forward so he was sitting squarely before Gabriel, legs spread to hang loosely on either side of the seated archangel.

“Do you lot rank sins Up Here?” Crowley asked conversationally. “For example,” he offered as he hitched his heel on one edge of the desk, “Temptation to maim or murder is _far better _than temptation to pleasure of the flesh. Well, _worse _by your standards, I s’ppose. Temptation to steal is somewhere about the same as pleasures of the flesh. Depends on what you’re stealing, y’know.”

“Yes,” Gabriel cut Crowley off with a sharp look. “There are degrees of sins. Otherwise… well, otherwise there would hardly be anyone admitted to Heaven,” he muttered.

“See?” Crowley said. “So what’s a little indulgence?” Crowley laughed. “You still let people pay off their indulgences?”

“No. That was your side’s invention from the start!”

“Oh, right…” Crowley mused.

“Some temptation.” Gabriel shook his head. “I forgot how much you talk.”

“What’s wrong with a slow burn?” Crowley snapped and grabbed Gabriel by his shirt, dragging him closer. “So impatient. That’s a sin. I think.” Crowley considered this for a moment, then shook his head. He could swear there was a prince over a whole domain of sinful impatience, but he’d gotten so out of touch with Hell, there was no telling. “If you’re so immune to temptations of the flesh… why don’t you watch nice and close while I show you what you’re missing?”

“Really, Crowley. This is indecent.”

“That’s the point.” Crowley let go of Gabriel’s shirt and removed his glasses, leering down at Gabriel with serpentine eyes. “You’re the one who thinks I’m eligible for readmission.” He grinned and slunk back, planting a bootheel over Gabriel’s shoulder.

“I don’t. God does,” Gabriel said in a flat tone. “This is a stupid ruse.”

“I’ll stop as soon as you give up on this fool’s errand.”

“I’m just doing God’s work,” Gabriel said with an honest shake of his head. “And this is not going to work. So.”

Crowley ran a hand over his own crotch, emphasizing the shape of his cock in his tight pants. “If you say so.” He let out a little groan for emphasis. “Have you ever… made the effort?” Crowley raised his brows.

“The effort?” Gabriel narrowed his own in confusion.

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake.” Crowley rolled his eyes. “The effort! You’ve got a human body, _sans human parts. _You make the effort to-- you know-- stem and cherries. Or just cherry, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Christ,” Crowley spat and Gabriel winced. “Sorry,” he said genuinely. “You’ve never? Not in six thousand years?”

“Never…?”

“Never made yourself a _man._ Proper bollocks and all.”

“Oh! You mean…” Gabriel frowned.

“No wonder you’ve never been tempted.” Crowley grinned. “Go on. If you’re so immune.”

“Go on?”

“Make the effort,” Crowley said cheerfully. “Can’t be a proper temptation if you don’t have the goods.”

“Why would I…?”

“Humor me,” Crowley challenged.

“Fine, demon.” Gabriel shot back with a snort and settled into his chair. He closed his eyes and, after a moment’s concentration--which Crowley thought looked like it took a little too much focus and a touch of confusion--he fixed the demon with a confident look. “Done. Do your worst.”

Crowley grinned. “You’ll get my best.” The demon licked his lips and shrugged off his blazer with an exaggerated roll of his shoulders. “Mmm… temptations are all about knowing what buttons to push,” Crowley explained. “Even something innocent can be a temptation.”

The demon leaned toward Gabriel and ran his fingers along the angel’s strong jaw. “You’ve been holed up here too long. Don’t even know the innocent pleasures of the flesh.”

Gabriel scoffed. “‘Innocent’ and ‘pleasures of the flesh’ don’t go together.”

Crowley lifted a brow. “Hmm?” He ran his fingers through Gabriel’s hair, tucked some behind his ear with a tender touch. “These human corporations got frillions of little nerves. Oodles of them.” His fingers wandered to Gabriel’s chin and he ran his thumb over the angel’s lower lip. “But _you’ve _never,” he drew out a beat between words, “been,” he leaned closer, “touched.” Crowley kissed Gabriel softly--a chaste kiss, lips soft and inviting.

There was something to what the demon described. The touch to his lips was nothing like the sensation of feeling something with his fingers, or the strangely pleasant feeling of fine clothes on the skin.

“Did that feel so sinful?” Crowley asked as he drew back.

“Hardly what I would call a temptation,” Gabriel replied.

“Oh, I’m not done yet,” Crowley promised. He shifted his leg, allowing his thigh to graze past Gabriel’s arm and come to rest against his knee. His hands slid over Gabriel’s shoulders as he poured himself into another kiss. He wrapped an arm around the back of Gabriel’s neck as his fingers raked into his hair, drawing him deeper into the press of their lips.

Gabriel hadn’t expected such tenderness out of a demon. Then again, he wasn’t much of a demon according to God and the records over the past six thousand years. Crowley’s touch was confident, familiar as a lover, and Gabriel felt compelled to match the press of his lips. He wasn’t _giving in, _but he couldn’t just sit still with the demon pressing him back into his chair. He tilted his head back as Crowley’s tongue begged entrance between his lips.

Crowley introduced Gabriel’s tongue to the concept of intimacy as one of his hands loosened the archangel’s tie. Gabriel was a sucker if he thought he could resist. “Let’s make this more interesting,” Crowley husked as he drew back from Gabriel’s lips. “I won’t touch the goods until you beg me to. Then, temptation accomplished. Fair?”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Crowley. “You think _I _need a handicap?”

Crowley slid Gabriel’s tie free from his throat and let it drop between the angel’s legs, allowing his fingers to whisper over his crotch. “Suit yourself.”

Gabriel felt a pang shoot up from the barely-there touch and cleared his throat. “Fine. It’s your temptation.”

Crowley grinned as he tangled his fingers pleasantly in Gabriel’s hair. His grin passed out of Gabriel’s view as he tilted his head and angled his lips against the archangel’s throat. Crowley could feel the bob of Gabriel’s throat as he swallowed. An innocent swallow, or was Gabriel feeling a little tense? Crowley treated Gabriel’s neck with his lips, which the angel tolerated in stillness. Once there was tongue involved, the archangel found himself tilting his chin away so as to give Crowley more space.

Crowley’s fingers slowly undid the buttons of Gabriel’s pressed shirt--one-handed, a skill every self-respecting demon had in their repertoire. He kissed the hollow behind Gabriel’s ear and asked, “Would you like to take off your coat?”

Gabriel cleared his throat and blinked. He’d sort of… dazed off there for a moment, lost in the sensations the demon treated upon his body. “Sure.” Crowley collected himself back on the desk as Gabriel shrugged off his coat.

The demon allowed his hand to wander between his own legs, palming his cock.

“Are you… aroused?” Gabriel asked.

“Getting there,” Crowley replied with a devilish smirk. “You’re easy on the eyes.” His serpentine gaze dragged over Gabriel’s half unbuttoned shirt with such weight, Gabriel could practically feel it.

Gabriel had never looked at Crowley as anything more than an annoyance, the wily serpent of Eden. But here, he looked sinuous, moving those lean limbs with the same fluidity of his sauntering gait. The demon slid from the edge of the desk into Gabriel’s lap and mussed the angel’s hair as he kissed him again on the lips.

The heat of the demon’s body against his own made Gabriel want to recoil as if from hellfire. But the weight of him on his thighs, the increase of contact was alluring.

“Having fun yet?” Crowley purred and dragged his fingers down the exposed bit of Gabriel’s chest. Crowley didn’t often find himself lusting after a form as firm and muscular as this, but there was a first time for everything.

“I wouldn’t call it ‘fun,’ so much as… educational.”

“This is why people don’t like you, Gabriel. You’re boring,” Crowley said flatly, a moment of his usual sass slipping through the illusion of allure.

“I am not boring!” Gabriel looked offended.

“Then live a little,” Crowley encouraged with a tilt of his head. His serpentine eyes flicked toward the angel.

Gabriel set his jaw stubbornly and took Crowley by the waist. He hesitated for a moment, despite his determination, before pressing his lips to Crowley’s neck tilted at an inviting angle.

Crowley let Gabriel hear a pleased murmur as his fingers slithered up the back of the angel’s neck.

Gabriel found that kissing Crowley’s skin wasn’t purely pleasurable for the demon, but actually felt nice against his own lips. He could see why Crowley had so willingly lathed his neck with attention. The softness of skin against his sensitive lips, the vibration of Crowley’s encouraging sounds, and the pulsing heat of his flesh all felt… very good.

“You’re a natural,” Crowley preened.

Gabriel felt Crowley’s arm brush past his hand and the demon’s hips rock forward against his thighs. The shift of weight caused the heat of Crowley’s contact to travel up his thighs and pool in the pit of his stomach.

Crowley smoothed his hand under Gabriel’s shirt and could feel the rise and fall of his chest as the angel discovered the pleasure of kissing as opposed to being kissed. What a sucker. It was too easy to tempt Gabriel to investigate the wonders of God’s creation. He found Gabriel leaning into him, that handsome jaw brushing against his collar, kisses landing in the low vee of his shirt.

Gabriel really wasn’t half bad at this. His hands seemed to have a mind of their own, sliding over his tight pants to grip at Crowley’s rear. The demon hummed his approval and rolled his hips forward to indulge the arousal trapped beneath his fly. Suddenly, Gabriel pulled their hips together and Crowley could feel Gabriel’s own desire pressed right up against him.

Crowley chuckled, low and sultry. “You sure you never done this before?” he teased.

“I never said that,” Gabriel replied plainly.

Crowley blinked down at the archangel. The look on Gabriel’s face was like nothing Crowley had ever seen before. His lavender eyes were _smoldering, _and there was a grin like a promise on his lips.

“You really aren’t much good at being a demon.” Gabriel’s hand snaked around Crowley’s waist, ran down Crowley’s front, and the demon’s shirt ceased to be. “You call this a temptation?” He gave Crowley a doubtful look.

Crowley shivered, tense but simultaneously harder than he had been moments before. Gabriel stood with his hands firmly on the demon’s ass and lifted him bodily onto his desk. Crowley was so taken aback all he could do was look up at the angel and notice how devastatingly handsome he looked with his shirt unbuttoned and that _look _in his eyes.

“Maybe to some little Principality…”

Crowley flushed and felt suddenly very exposed.

“I’m the Archangel fucking Gabriel.” He looked disappointed in the demon. “Come on.” He ran his hands over Crowley’s thighs, and by the time they reached his hips, his pants were also gone. Gabriel’s strong hands held Crowley right where he wanted him as he ground his still-clothed effort against the demon ripe for the taking.

“It’s hardly a temptation if the temptee readily takes what’s offered.” Gabriel’s eyes flicked down Crowley’s sprawled, aroused form. “You appear to be offering.”

Crowley felt his cock throb at the strong, confident voice. Gabriel slowly leaned over him, pinning him fully to the desk with his cock firmly pressed against him. “Well?” he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Y-yeah,” Crowley managed. 

“Are you _tempted _by the thought of being taken by an archangel?”

Crowley looked away with a scowl as his cheeks burned. “Yeah, alright, I get it.”

Gabriel chuckled and took Crowley by the chin to guide him to face him once more. “I’ve never once been tempted. But I have had an indulgence or two.” He kissed Crowley, this time with unbridled passion that made the demon groan. Crowley’s hips moved on their own accord against Gabriel’s.

One of Gabriel’s hands found Crowley’s thigh again and slid toward his crotch, kneading the tense flesh. His thumb delved lower and rubbed the demon’s entrance. Crowley moaned and canted his hips toward the touch. Miraculously slick fingers smeared against his puckered flesh and made Crowley groan impatiently against Gabriel’s mouth hot on his own.

The archangel’s fingers moved without any hesitation, much to Crowley’s surprise. Just who had Gabriel indulged with? This kind of familiarity didn’t come from a tryst here or there over the millennia. Gabriel’s fingers were thick, and just two filled him up quite nicely. A third made him groan with wanton abandon and draw the angel closer with his thighs.

“Should’ve known you would be a cocky bastard, even with shit like this,” Crowley panted as Gabriel pulled back from the kiss to supervise his work.

The archangel’s brow creased. “Please don’t curse.”

Crowley barked out a laugh that trailed into a moan as Gabriel twisted his fingers inside him. His hand went to his weeping cock and he stroked himself as Gabriel watched. “Enjoying the view?” he asked, brows narrowed impatiently.

“You’re not really my type,” Gabriel said with a secretive smile. He withdrew his fingers and freed his cock, stroking it slick as he leaned over the demon on his desk.

“Oh yeah?” Crowley husked and propped himself up on an elbow. “What _is _your type?” He narrowed his eyes at Gabriel with a challenge.

“Above your pay grade,” Gabriel replied as he pressed his cock against Crowley.

The demon fell back to the desk as the archangel split him open. Fuck, Gabriel did _not _mess around with the effort. He felt the delicious burn of being stretched and squeezed his own cock tight as he pinned his knees tight around Gabriel. Thoughts about who the Archangel Gabriel might be indulging with went right out the window as Gabriel sank deep inside him.

“Fuck…” Crowley growled and bit his lip.

“Language,” Gabriel scolded him with a sharp slap of his hips that made Crowley see stars.

“Shit--fuck you policing my obscenities. You wanna know what’s obscene? Your dick!” Crowley babbled.

Gabriel grinned at Crowley, drawing back a few inches before plunging in once more. “More than a minor miracle.”

Crowley’s hand flew back to grip the edge of the desk behind his head as Gabriel started fucking him in earnest. The archangel was infuriatingly composed, meanwhile Crowley was brainstorming new inconveniences he could aim at Gabriel in particular to keep from peaking too quickly. Any shred of dignity while being fucked proper by the archangel.

Gabriel enjoyed seeing the demon come undone around his cock. The loss of control over the situation made Crowley reluctant to express his pleasure, moans muffled by stubborn teeth or the back of a tight fist, but if his quivering body was to be believed, the demon was thoroughly enjoying himself.

Perhaps the encouragement to enjoy this properly was a little of that tenderness Crowley had tried to tempt him with. His lips found Crowley’s arched neck, scorching the heat there to a raging inferno with a sensuous tongue. The demon arched off the desk as his fingers tore at Gabriel’s hair, moaning with abandon. His body tensed dangerously around Gabriel’s thick cock and he whimpered.

Gabriel groaned against Crowley’s neck as the demon became so sinfully tight. He thrust into that vice-like grip hungrily, knocking his nameplate off the edge of the desk. As he ravaged Crowley’s throat, he felt the demon’s hand moving desperately between them on his cock. Gasping for breath, Crowley surrendered to his orgasm, hips rutting against Gabriel’s.

The archangel rode Crowley’s trembling, wanton body into his own climax, spearing deep enough to make the demon cry out in a pitch Gabriel had never heard from the demon who drawled with the same lazy care as he sauntered.

Gabriel remained pressed against the demon for a moment as both their corporations regulated breathing back to an even pace. He slowly stood and looked at the spent demon sprawled on his desk. With a careless wave of his hand, Gabriel worked a series of miracles: the organic mess between their bodies was cleaned up, the scattered pens, executive toys, papers, and nameplate were restored to their rightful place, and both angel and demon were dressed, unmussed.

“Not much for romance, are you?” Crowley muttered as he slowly sat up on the desk. He felt an ache in his thighs, and a soreness he knew would linger for longer than he cared to think about now.

“Temptation accomplished.” Gabriel’s smile was pure business. “Not by you, of course. But I will take your…” Gabriel gave Crowley a once-over, “wantonness into consideration as we discuss your readmission.”

“Not. Interested.” Crowley found his glasses and shoved them on his face. “I think we’re done here?”

“For now. I’ll see you around. Soon, I’m sure.”

Crowley scowled and hopped off the desk, a fresh wave of delicious soreness firing up his spine. Gabriel noted as Crowley walked away, there was just a little bit less of a swing to his sauntering hips.


End file.
